I just thought about it and finally have come to the realization that Javier will not be calling, from the random way he just put it out there that day I think it’s time to stop waiting in anticipation at my phone.
I’ve realized that lately my posts have been cut short to few unintelligent sentences. Well, at least one of them is. I’ll explain:
Javier said that sometime he’ll call me a few days ago, out of the blue. With no exact explanation. So I just sat around the phone all day waiting for him to call, though he never did. I don’t ever remember him calling me, ever. So I have no clue why he would say that.
Why would he get my hopes up like that for no particular reason? It’s called heartache kids.
I did have one friend though, Carla Petters, we were best friends from through the eighth to eleventh grade. One day an accidental gunshot when off when we were walking to school and it hit Carla fatally in the head. I miss her, my only friend.
Javier is just his plain old self, sometimes I feel like he doesn’t know me. We’ve barely gone far from “Hi” or “How are you?” Whenever we cross paths, I love that man with all my heart and he doesn’t even know it.
That crazy love thing. We’ve all somehow experienced it.
When I was younger I was usually home schooled since my mom was running around chasing after my dad, I started to regularly go to school at around the eighth grade. But when I did I was heavily bullied because I was considered “weird” for having an intense liking for art and always writing meaningful quotes down.
Yet my younger half-sister, Georgia, was very liked among her peers. She always sat next to me at the lunch table during our few years when we went to high school together, but her “friends” ignored me. And when I walked away to dump my lunch tray out of the corner of my eye I’ll notice them asking Georgia why she hung out with me. I wondered if she ever told her friends we were sisters. When I asked she would say, “Of course! Why would I lie about that?” But for some reason something inside of me told me otherwise.
I had a strange dream last night, I was dressed in white clothing and walking in a pure white room. Then three angels came and congratulated me for my accomplishments, I wondered what I’ve done to be thanked so.
I do have a strong belief in God, I’ve never missed church. Ma even put the looking for dad on hold on Sundays at elven o’clock only.